I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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