I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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