I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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