There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
