no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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