So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
do nipples grow back?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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