He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im drinking this country out of the recession.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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