at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
