Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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