I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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