Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
