Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
