Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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