im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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