garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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