my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
