do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
