only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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