Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I need a beard to bite.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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