Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
