we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
