before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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