After last night, I could never be a politician.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There's always time for handjobs
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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