I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
