They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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