Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
