That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
