Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
my liver is dry heaving
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
