Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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