I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
