ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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