Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
