Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
