I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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