he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
