i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
