Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
is it fun? or sober?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
