sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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