Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
