it was like his penis was on wheels.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
