Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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