Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
