i just wanna soil my oats bro
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
