Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
