What a fucking waste of an outfit
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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