Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
