He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We are two peas in an std pod
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
