That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
