we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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