Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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