Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
